Part 1: Ten Minutes to “I Do”
Ten minutes before our wedding, I overheard my fiancé telling his sister, “Don’t worry about daycare anymore. Natalie will take care of all three kids starting Monday.”
Her three children were all younger than six. I worked full-time and had never agreed to look after them on a regular basis.
Seth laughed.
“Once we’re married, she won’t have much choice.”
Standing in the church hallway with my wedding gown bunched in my hands, I struggled to square those words with the man I had loved for three years.
Seventy guests were already in their seats.
That morning, Mom had cried when she saw my dress. My best friend Paige had spent twenty minutes pinning up my hair. The church smelled of fresh flowers, and someone nearby was rehearsing our processional music.
The day was supposed to be perfect.
Just five minutes earlier, my biggest worry had been a loose hook on my gown.
I had left the bridal room to look for Paige, who’d gone off to find a safety pin, when Seth’s voice drifted to me through the partly open fellowship-room door.
I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop.
Then he mentioned my name.
“Are you absolutely sure?” his sister Heather asked.
“Of course I’m sure.”
“Because it’s a lot, Seth. All three of them, five days a week.”
“She loves the kids.”
“Loving them isn’t the same as keeping them all day.”
For a moment, I was grateful for Heather’s concern.
Then came Seth’s hint that marriage would leave me no choice.
I stepped closer.
Heather had three children: five-year-old Maddie, Ben, who had just turned three, and eighteen-month-old Owen.
I truly adored them.
I’d taken them to parks, cooked pancakes with them, and now and then watched them on Saturdays when Heather needed a hand.
Last Christmas, Maddie had drawn enormous purple flowers with my name written above them. Her picture still hung on my refrigerator.
But occasional babysitting was nothing like becoming their full-time caregiver.
I was thirty-four and had worked nearly seven years at a dental practice near Columbus, Ohio.
Three days earlier, Dr. Bennett had offered me the office manager position.
It was a promotion I had chased for years.
And yet my future husband apparently considered my career irrelevant.
“What about her job?” Heather asked.
“She’s leaving the dental office.”
I tightened my grip on my dress.
“She told you that?”
“We’ve talked about it.”
We absolutely hadn’t.
Seth and I had talked about buying a house, eventually having children without rushing, vacations, retirement savings, and replacing his aging truck.
Not once had we discussed me abandoning my career to raise his sister’s children.
Heather sighed.
“I just don’t want Natalie to feel like I’m taking advantage of her.”
“She won’t.”
“Because I know how much she likes her job.”
Irritation crept into Seth’s voice.
“Heather, we’ve been over this. She’s going to be my wife. We’re going to make decisions based on what’s best for the family.”
After a pause, Heather went on.
“And she’ll start Monday morning?”
“Seven-thirty. Same as we discussed.”
Monday morning.
My staff meeting began at eight.
Dr. Bennett planned to introduce new billing software for the following month, then discuss my promotion afterward.
Seth knew about both.
I’d mentioned them over dinner, and he’d said, “Sounds exciting, babe.”
Now he had handed my Monday to someone else.
My pulse thudded in my throat.
I thought about leaving to find Paige and collecting myself before I confronted him.
Then Heather spoke.
“I wish you’d let me thank her properly before today.”
“Don’t make a big deal out of it. She’s already nervous about the wedding.”
“I suppose.”
A short silence followed.
Then came the revelation that changed everything.
“I hope this works out. Because I already canceled their daycare two weeks ago.”
Seth didn’t sound surprised.
“I know.”
“Their last day was yesterday. The director said those spots have already been filled.”
“Then it’s a good thing we have Natalie.”
I stared at the doorway.
This was no innocent misunderstanding about helping out for a few days.
The childcare for three children had been canceled because of a commitment I had never made.
And the man behind it was about to become my husband.
I opened the door.
“Who told you I was quitting my job?”
Seth whirled around, nearly crashing into a folding chair.
Heather stood beside a table of wedding programs, in a navy dress that complemented my bouquet.
Neither of them spoke at first.
Then Seth smiled.
It wasn’t his usual smile. It was the soothing one he used when customers complained about electrical repairs and he wanted them to believe everything was under control.
“Natalie. Hey. You’re not supposed to see me before the ceremony.”
“Answer my question.”
His smile disappeared.
Heather looked from one of us to the other.
“Did you not know about the daycare arrangement?”
“What daycare arrangement?”
Seth walked toward me.
“Let’s not do this right now.”
I dodged his hand.
“Heather, what exactly did Seth tell you?”
She swallowed.
“He said you wanted to take some time off after the wedding. That you were thinking about leaving the dental office.”
“I never said that.”
“He told me you’d be watching the kids while I worked.”
“For how long?”
She glanced at her brother.
“Until next summer.”
My stomach dropped.
“Next summer?”
Seth rubbed the back of his neck.
“It’s not as bad as it sounds.”
“Three kids. Ten hours a day. Five days a week. For almost a year?”
“Natalie—”
“Is that what you promised?”
His hesitation answered for him.
I turned to Heather.
“I haven’t quit my job. I haven’t even considered quitting my job.”
Her face changed.
“But Seth said you’d talked to your boss.”
I took my phone out of the satin purse Paige had given me that morning.
My hands shook so badly that I typed the wrong passcode twice.
At last, I pulled up Dr. Bennett’s email.
The subject line read: Office Manager Position.
I held the screen out to Heather.
“This came Wednesday. Dr. Bennett is offering me a promotion. I’m supposed to give her my answer Monday.”
Heather read the first paragraph, frowning.
“You’re being promoted?”
“Yes.”
Seth leaned in.
“You didn’t tell me you were accepting it.”
“I haven’t accepted it yet.”
“Exactly. So I thought—”
“You thought what?”
He sighed.
“I thought maybe this was a good time for us to rethink things.”
I stared at him.
“Us?”
“Your schedule. Heather’s situation. Everything.”
“Then why wasn’t I part of the conversation?”
Heather lowered my phone.
“Seth, you told me Natalie wanted this.”
“She does love the kids.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
He rounded on his sister.
“Don’t start acting like I forced you into anything. You were thrilled when I came up with the idea.”
Heather went pale.
“I was thrilled because you said she’d agreed.”
I had never seen her so alarmed.
Heather and her husband, Colin, had separated about a year earlier. They shared parenting duties, but his rotating warehouse shifts made childcare hard to arrange.
She worked full-time handling insurance claims and couldn’t bring three small children to her office.
“What about their daycare?” I asked.
Heather pressed her lips together.
“I gave two weeks’ notice. They require it.”
“Can you call and get their places back?”
“I tried asking about Maddie’s spot yesterday because her teacher said she’d miss her. The director told me all three places had already been offered to families on the waiting list.”
Seth brushed it off with a wave.
“We’ll figure something out.”
Heather turned on him.
“You told me it was figured out.”
His jaw tightened, then he looked at me.
“Can we please stop making this into a crisis? It’s our wedding day.”
I almost laughed.
“Our wedding day?”
“Yes.”
“The day you planned to marry me before telling me I was giving up my career?”
“That’s not fair.”
“What part isn’t fair?”
He dropped his voice.
“People are going to hear you.”
There it was.
He wasn’t bothered that he had betrayed me or endangered Heather’s job.
He was worried someone might overhear.
I stepped closer.
“Did you honestly expect me to wake up Monday morning, find out I was supposed to babysit three children, and just not go to work?”
He looked at Heather, then at me.
“I thought we’d have a little time to talk about it after the wedding.”
“You told her I’d already agreed.”
“Because I knew we’d work it out.”
I turned to Heather.
“Did you ever try asking me directly?”
She hesitated.
“I wanted to.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Seth said you were uncomfortable talking about leaving your job. That you didn’t want everyone making a big deal about it.”
I looked at him again.
He said nothing.
Somewhere in the distance, a chapel bell rang.
It was five minutes before two.
Seth glanced at his watch.
“Okay. We need to get ready.”
He reached for me, but I pulled away.
“No. You and I need to talk.”
Heather started to speak, and I cut in.
“Please. Give us a minute.”
She agreed and left, clutching her phone.
Seth shut the door, then faced me with the weary look of a man handling a problem he hadn’t created.
“Look,” he said. “I know you’re upset.”
“You don’t know half of how upset I am.”
He straightened his jacket.
“Then tell me what you want me to say.”
I studied him.
He was wearing the tie I’d picked out and was supposed to become my husband in five minutes.
Suddenly, I couldn’t picture anything he could say that would make this right.
“I need you to tell me why you did this,” I said.
Seth leaned against the table.
“I was trying to help my sister.”
“By giving her my time?”
“By helping our family.”
“Heather’s your sister. They’re your nieces and nephews. Why aren’t you the one staying home with them?”
He frowned.
“You know I can’t just stop working.”
“Neither can I.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“My job pays more.”
That was generally true. As a licensed electrician who often worked overtime, Seth earned more than I did.
But I supported myself, had employer-provided health insurance and retirement savings, and truly enjoyed my work.
I had spent years mastering insurance claims, scheduling, personnel issues, and the countless duties that kept our dental office running.
He seemed to wave all of it away.
“And what happens to my health insurance?” I asked.
“You’d be on mine after we got married.”
“What happens to my retirement contributions?”
“We’ll figure that out.”
“My promotion?”
“Natalie, people change careers all the time.”
I stared at him.
“I don’t want to change careers.”
He sighed.
“You’ve always said you wanted to spend more time with family.”
“I meant our family. Someday. When we made that decision together.”
“That’s what this is.”
“No. This is a decision you made without me.”
His patience snapped.
“Heather’s struggling, okay? Do you have any idea what she pays for daycare?”
“Yes. She’s told me.”
“Then you know how much we could help her.”
“We?”
He looked away.
“Come on. You know what I mean.”
I suddenly noticed how often he said we.
We could help Heather.
We could sacrifice.
We could manage somehow.
Yet I alone was expected to give up my job.
I pictured Monday morning: Heather arriving with Maddie, Ben, and Owen at 7:30, Seth heading off to a job site, and me making meals, changing diapers, cleaning up messes, planning activities, and supervising naps.
The same routine would repeat every weekday.
Then Seth would come home and praise how much we had helped his sister.
“I’ve watched those kids before,” I said. “You know I have.”
“Exactly.”
“For a few hours. When Heather asked me and I was available.”
“What’s the difference?”
His question stunned me.
“The difference is that I said yes.”
He went quiet.
I searched his face.
“You knew I wouldn’t agree to this, didn’t you?”
He folded his arms.
“I knew you’d have concerns.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“Natalie, we’ve been planning this wedding for a year. You’ve been stressed. Every conversation about money turns into a whole thing.”
“Because you keep saying everything will work out without explaining how.”
He laughed bitterly.
“And this is exactly why I didn’t bring it up earlier.”
Silence followed.
I waited, hoping he would realize what he had just admitted.
Instead, he kept going.
“I figured once the wedding was over, once we were settled, you’d be more open to it.”
“So you deliberately waited until after I was your wife?”
He shifted uncomfortably.
“I wouldn’t put it that way.”
“How would you put it?”
“I thought you’d come around.”
Those words hurt more than any of his earlier explanations.
For three years, I’d believed Seth valued my perspective even when we disagreed.
We had argued about money and about his habit of offering relatives weekend help before checking his schedule.
I’d considered those ordinary relationship problems.
Now I wondered how many of his decisions depended on me eventually giving in.
“Did you promise Heather a year of childcare because you thought I’d agree,” I asked, “or because you thought I wouldn’t be able to refuse after the wedding?”
He stared.
“You’re making me sound like some kind of monster.”
“I asked you a question.”
“I love you.”
“That wasn’t an answer.”
He moved closer.
“Look, we can compromise. Maybe you keep working part-time. Maybe Heather finds someone else to cover a few days.”
“She canceled daycare because you promised her I would do it.”
“Then we’ll have to help her for a little while.”
“We?”
He threw up both hands in frustration.
“Do you have to challenge every word I say?”
Tears pooled in my eyes.
Not because he had raised his voice, but because I was finally recognizing qualities I had refused to see.
Someone knocked.
“Natalie?”
It was Paige.
Seth turned to the door.
“Give us another minute.”
She stayed outside.
“Reverend Thomas is asking whether to start. Everyone’s seated.”
Seth looked at me.
“Please. We have seventy people out there. My parents have been saving for their part of this wedding. Your mom has family who drove three hours.”
I knew every detail.
I’d planned the seating, called the caterer twice that week, and folded the wedding programs myself.
His voice softened.
“Let’s get married. Then we can sit down tomorrow and figure out the childcare.”
I looked down at my gown.
I’d bought it eight months earlier. Though modestly priced compared with many wedding dresses, it was the most expensive garment I had ever owned.
Mom had cried when I tried it on.
That very morning, I had imagined Seth’s face when he saw me walking down the aisle.
I still loved him.
That was what made the decision so agonizing.
I wanted the man I’d believed him to be.
But I couldn’t marry him just because seventy people were waiting.
Another knock cut in.
Seth lowered his voice.
“Don’t embarrass me in front of everyone.”
I looked up.
His words finally made everything clear.
He hadn’t apologized or asked what I wanted.
All he wanted was for me to shield him from the consequences of his own actions.
I opened the door.
Paige stood there holding three safety pins, her smile fading when she saw my expression.
“Natalie?”
“Please get Reverend Thomas,” I said.
Seth stepped forward.
“What are you doing?”
I kept my eyes on Paige.
“Tell him I’m not going through with the wedding.”
