Part 2: “The Name”
Later, Amanda and Robin sat in the living room, playfully arguing over whether babies needed shoes before they learned to walk.
I gathered the dishes and carried them to the kitchen.
Andrew followed and set two glasses beside the sink.
Then he caught my wrist, gently but firmly enough to make me stop.
“Christie.”
“Yes?”
“We need to talk.” He looked toward the living room. “Nobody can hear us.”
The plate in my hands suddenly felt much heavier.
“Is she sick again?”
“No.”
“Andrew, don’t protect me. Is Amanda getting worse?”
“No. Her condition is stable.”
“Is something wrong with the baby?”
“God… no.”
“Then what?”
He steered me into the hallway.
His chin was trembling.
“I should have told you years ago.”
“Told me what? Andrew, look at me.”
“I hid a terrible truth from your daughter,” he whispered. “And now I can’t let Amanda make this horrible mistake.”
I stared, trying to understand.
“What mistake?”
He glanced toward the dining room, where the tiny booties still sat beside my plate.
“Thomas.”
“Thomas?”
“The name.”
“What about it?”
Andrew dragged his hands down his face.
“This isn’t about anything that happened after I met Amanda.” He lowered his voice. “It’s about when she was seven.”
For a moment, I couldn’t breathe.
Seven.
I remembered that age vividly.
The recurring fevers, the constant exhaustion, and the nights Amanda cried because her legs ached.
I remembered the first physician assuring Robin and me that children sometimes went through unusual phases.
“Do you remember the doctor you took her to?”
“Of course.”
I could still picture his office.
The aquarium.
His calm assurance that nothing he’d seen gave us reason to panic.
And Robin squeezing my hand afterward, saying, “Maybe he’s right. Maybe we’re frightening ourselves.”
Andrew lowered his eyes.
“His first name was Thomas.”
I stared in disbelief.
Andrew used his mother’s surname. Nothing had ever led me to connect him with the physician we’d consulted thirteen years earlier.
“No.”
“Christie.”
“No.”
“He was my father,” Andrew revealed.
For several seconds, the only sound reaching me was Amanda laughing in the next room.
Finally, I found my voice.
“Your father treated my daughter?”
“Yes.”
“The doctor who told us she wasn’t seriously ill?”
Andrew nodded.
“You knew?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
He lifted his eyes to mine.
“Before I walked into Amanda’s room the first time.”
My palm struck the hallway table, shifting a framed photograph.
“You knew before you met her?”
“I’d reviewed her records. I saw Dad’s name and the date. I recognized the case.”
“The case?”
“That’s how he talked about it.”
Anger rose in my voice.
“My daughter isn’t a case.”
“I know.”
“Did you take her on because of him?”
He answered without hesitation.
“No. I was already assigned to the team. I didn’t know Amanda was the same patient until I reviewed her history.”
“What exactly did your father do?”
Andrew checked the living room again.
“Not here.”
“You brought me here.”
“He didn’t cause Amanda’s condition.”
“I didn’t ask that.”
He pressed his fingertips to his forehead.
“When Amanda was seven, Dad saw symptoms that could have had several explanations. There was also a finding he should have followed more aggressively.”
“But he didn’t.”
“No.”
“He told us not to worry.”
“Yes.”
“And then we lost time.”
Andrew swallowed.
“Yes.”
I gripped the edge of the table.
“How much?”
“I can’t give you a clean number. Her condition was complicated. Nobody can honestly say what every later year would have looked like if she’d been diagnosed sooner.”
At least he wasn’t pretending to know something he couldn’t.
“But your father thought he’d made a mistake.”
Andrew nodded.
“How do you know?” I asked.
“Because he talked about it for years.”
I stepped away from him.
Every night I’d spent at Amanda’s bedside suddenly seemed tied to a question I’d never known to ask.
It wasn’t an explanation.
Just a possibility.
“Did Amanda know his name?”
“She was seven.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“No. She doesn’t remember him.”
“But you remembered for her.”
Andrew said nothing.
“Why didn’t you tell us when you recognized the chart?”
“At first, I didn’t think it would help her treatment. Dad was dead. Amanda was already fighting enough.”
“At first?”
He met my eyes.
That was exactly the problem.
At the start, I might have understood his choice.
But Amanda recovered.
Andrew stopped treating her.
They found each other again.
He invited her out.
They fell in love.
He proposed.
And they married.
With every milestone, his explanation of “at first” became harder to accept.
“I was going to tell her before our first date,” he admitted.
“But you didn’t.”
“No.”
“Before you proposed?”
“Yes.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No.”
“Before the wedding?”
He shut his eyes.
“Yes.”
I straightened the photograph I’d knocked out of place.
“Why?”
“Because every time I waited, telling her became worse.”
“That’s not an answer, Andrew.”
“I was afraid she’d look at me and see him.”
“And?”
“And I love her.”
“That doesn’t make this better.”
“I know.”
Amanda’s voice floated in from the living room.
“Mom, Dad says newborns don’t need socks. Please explain civilization to him.”
Neither of us responded.
She laughed again, and Andrew glanced toward the sound.
“There’s more.”
“No.”
He faced me again.
“What?”
“You don’t get to give me the favorable context first.”
“It’s not favorable.”
“Whatever your father did afterward, Amanda first.”
He understood what I meant.
“Why tonight?” I asked. “You’ve kept this secret through dating, marriage, and almost a year of waking up beside my daughter. Why is tonight suddenly unbearable?”
Andrew’s gaze returned to the little booties.
“Because she wants to name our baby after him.”
That was the reason.
Not a new diagnosis.
Not a recurrence of Amanda’s illness.
A baby’s name.
“I can’t let her do that, Christie.”
Something in his wording bothered me.
Then I realized what it was.
“You can’t let her?”
Andrew looked startled.
“Christie, if she knew what Dad did…”
“Then tell her.”
“She may hate the name. She may hate him. She may hate… me.”
“Maybe,” I said.
Tears gathered in his eyes.
“You don’t get to decide she can’t use the name either.”
He fell silent.
I gestured toward the living room.
“You tell her.”
Andrew wiped his cheeks.
“What if this changes everything?”
“It might.”
“What am I supposed to tell her it means?”
“Nothing.”
He looked confused.
“Amanda decides what it means,” I said.
Amanda called for him from the next room.
He held my gaze one final moment, then walked toward her.
I followed.
