My Revenge Was Soft, Sweet, and Dressed in Blue
I dressed the baby in a sky-blue onesie with a teddy bear hood, tucked her into the carrier with a matching blue blanket. Moreover, I topped it all off with a giant bunch of blue balloons that read “It’s a BOY!”
Jake was already waiting in the hallway — eyes misty, holding a bouquet of daisies and my favorite coffee in a to-go cup. I instantly forgave him for that business trip.
Next to him stood Sheila. My dearest MIL. I handed Jake the carrier. He chuckled and looked inside.
“Oh, my little boy…”
A pause.
“Wait. Is that… a pink pacifier?”
I blinked innocently. “Well, modern boys can like pink too, can’t they?”
Sheila cut in like a gust of freezing wind. She stared at the baby like she was seeing a ghost.
“What is this?! That’s supposed to be a girl! Did you steal someone else’s baby?! This is postpartum depression!”
Jake looked around, completely confused.
“Mom, what are you talking about? This is our son. You were expecting a grandson, remember?”
I turned to her with the sweetest smile I could muster.
“You must be tired, Mom. Imagining such things… But look — that smile, and that jawline? Pure family genes.”
She blinked like a faulty light bulb. Later, in the car, while Jake was loading our bags, we were briefly alone. I leaned in toward her and whispered, “You admired those other baby boys so much… so I swapped with another mom. She wanted a girl, we wanted a boy. Logical, right?”
Sheila’s eyes bulged like stuffed olives. “You… what?!”
I winked.
“Just kidding. Or am I?”
***
We’d barely made it through the front door when the doorbell rang. Jake was still dragging in our hospital bags, and I hadn’t even taken off my shoes.
I opened the door and froze. Two people stood there — one in a suit with a clipboard, the other in a gray windbreaker with a badge.
