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My Mother-in-law Said I Wasn’t “Family”, So I Made Her Regret It

I never wanted drama with my mother-in-law. I always tried to be kind and respectful. But apparently, none of that mattered. Because no matter how much I tried to be part of the family, she humiliated me and made it clear I would never be, leaving me no choice but to teach her a lesson.

Hi readers! When I married my husband, I thought I was gaining a second family. His mom wasn’t overly warm from the start, but I figured she’d warm up once she got to know me.

I lost my mom when I was young, so bonding with my MIL was really important to me.

So I went out of my way to make her happy, treated her like my mom. I took care of her and her needs. I helped her with errands and house chores without being asked. I even plan her a big birthday party every year and spend a fortune on buying her expensive gifts.

I wanted her to feel appreciated, and over the years, I thought we built a pretty good relationship, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I got a harsh reality check.

Last week, we were all having dinner at her place: my husband, his brother, and a few other relatives. Everything seemed normal. We were talking, laughing, eating.

Out of nowhere, my MIL announced that she was planning a big family vacation. She seemed excited, and I was genuinely happy for her. So I smiled and said, “That sounds amazing! I’d love to help you plan it.” I figured I’d pitch in for the tickets and hotel stay to lower her burden.

But, she got visibly frustrated. In front of everyone, she looked me in the eye and said, “No, you’re not invited because it’s just going to be my children this time. I want a holiday like we used to go on back when your husband was just a kid and my husband was alive. I want to feel young again.” She laughed.

For illustrative purposes only (istockphoto)

Honestly? I thought the whole thing was a joke, so I laughed, too. But, soon, I realized that she was being completely serious. She just wanted to go on a vacation without me. I was humiliated. And that’s when something in me finally snapped.

I plotted my revenge.

I realized no matter what I did, she would never accept me. I could cook, clean, gift, and sacrifice all I wanted, but in her eyes, I was still “just” the woman her son married, not her daughter. So I decided I was done. I didn’t yell or cause a scene. I just nodded and kept eating like nothing happened.

A week later, she texted me asking if I could help her prep for an event she was hosting. Normally, I’d say yes without a second thought, but this time, I ignored the message. When she followed up asking again, I politely replied, “Sorry, I won’t be able to help. Hope the event goes well.”

For illustrative purposes only

Then came her birthday. I threw a big party in our backyard, and of course, my MIL was aware of the preparations going on. So, naturally, she came out dressed to the nines, thinking it was a party for her. When she noticed that the people invited were just my friends and siblings, she came to me and asked, “Where’s everyone else? Where’s Rick (my husband)?”

That’s when I presented my Oscar-worthy acting skills and replied, “Oh? He’s away on a work trip. Do you need anything?” The look on her face was gold. I think she put two and two together then and went back inside, humiliated.

My husband thinks what I did was cruel.

When my husband and his brother came back the next day, they were furious. Apparently, my MIL already called them and told them her side of the story. My husband asked me how I could do her dirty like that. I calmly told him that it wasn’t my intension, I simply forgot about her birthday, and it just happened to be on the same day I had planned a get-together with my friends. Is that a crime?

For illustrative purposes only (istockphoto)

He refused to believe me, saying I remember it every year and host a party. What I couldn’t believe was his audacity. Since I didn’t talk about the party and preparations beforehand like I used to each year, my husband and his brother didn’t even know it was my MIL’s birthday until she called them.

They forgot lol. Her “real family”. So I simply said, “If her own sons can forget her birthday, and it’s not a big deal, so well, so can I, I’m just a stranger anyway,” and walked off.

Now there’s this silent tension in our home, and it’s so uncomfortable. I think I heard my MIL crying. Should I go apologize to her? Was I in the wrong here?

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