After 35 years of delivering mail through rain, snow, and blazing sun, it was finally Bob the mailman’s last day on the job.
At his first stop, a family handed him a big gift basket and thanked him for his years of service.
At the second, he got a box of fine chocolates.
At the third, a man gave him a fishing rod with a note that said, “Now you’ll finally have time to use this!”
At every house, Bob was showered with cards, hugs, and kind words.
Finally, he reached the last house on his route—a cheerful young woman opened the door with a bright smile.
“Mr. Bob!” she said. “You’ve been bringing us mail since I was a baby! You deserve something special.”
She invited him inside, where she’d prepared a huge breakfast—pancakes, eggs, bacon, waffles, and fresh orange juice. After he ate until he was full, she handed him a small envelope.
Inside was a single dollar bill.
Bob blinked. “Everything was so wonderful, but… what’s the dollar for?”
The woman giggled. “Well,” she said, “last night my husband and I talked about what we should do to thank you.”
“He said, ‘Let’s give him a dollar.’”
“I said, ‘No, that’s not enough! Let’s make him breakfast too!’” 
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Lawyer Asks an Elderly Woman a Question in Court — but He Never Expected This Response
In a small-town trial, a Southern prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother, to the stand.
He approached her and asked:
“Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She replied:
“Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment. You lie, you che@t on your wife, you manipulate people, and you talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot, but you don’t have the brains to realize you’ll never amount to more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked:
“Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She calmly replied:
“Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was young, too. He’s lazy, arrogant, and has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention, he che@ted on his wife with three different women—one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney nearly fainted.
The judge quietly called both lawyers to the bench and said in a low voice:
“If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll have you both sent to the electric chair.”
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