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At 18, I Fought to Keep My 7 Siblings Together — Then One Photo Exposed the Truth About Our Parents

Part Three: The Courthouse

Aunt Denise arrived at the first hearing wearing a blazer the color of authority and carrying herself with the particular confidence of someone who has decided the outcome in advance and is merely waiting for the paperwork to catch up.

She was my mother’s older sister by eight years. I had known her my entire life. She sent birthday cards that were always slightly late and Christmas gifts that were always slightly off — things chosen for a version of us that existed in her imagination rather than in reality. She had attended family gatherings with a quality of careful distance, as if proximity to seven noisy children might be contagious. She had never, to my knowledge, babysat any of us. She did not know Tommy’s middle name. She had once called Benji “the little one” for an entire Thanksgiving because she couldn’t remember which name went with which face.

She stood before the judge now and expressed, with visible emotion, how deeply she cared about our welfare.

Uncle Warren stood at her shoulder with a folder, which I would later learn contained financial statements and a letter from their family lawyer.

“I understand Rowan means well,” Denise told the judge, in the voice of someone being very reasonable. “But we have to be honest about the situation. A child cannot raise children. I’m prepared to take the youngest two — provide them with stability, a real home—”

“The youngest two?” I said.

The judge looked at me. My lawyer — a young public defender named Grace who had been given my case forty-eight hours ago and had prepared with visible and impressive speed — put a hand briefly on my arm.

Denise turned to me with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I know this is hard, sweetheart. But you can’t save everyone.”

“I’m not trying to save everyone,” I said, and then I looked at the judge directly because Grace had told me to look at the judge. “I’m trying to keep my family together. There’s a difference.”

The judge was a woman in her sixties with reading glasses on a chain and the expression of someone who has seen everything. She leaned forward slightly. “Do you understand what you’re actually asking for? Full temporary guardianship of seven minors?”

“Not completely,” I said. “But I know them. I know that Tommy needs his rescue inhaler on his nightstand, not in his backpack, because he panics when he has to look for it. I know that Benji hides food — crackers, fruit, whatever he can get — under his pillow when he’s scared, because he did it when we moved houses three years ago. I know that Sybil gets genuinely mean when she’s hungry, not bad-mean, just overwhelmed-mean, and the solution is a snack, not a conversation. I know how each of them sleeps. I know what each of them is afraid of. I know what makes each of them laugh.” I stopped. I breathed. “Aunt Denise does not know those things. With respect, she does not know them at all.”

Behind me, the gallery was very quiet.

And then Lila started crying first, and it set off a chain reaction that I will not pretend was entirely spontaneous, but was also entirely genuine — Phoebe nodding hard with her jaw set, Tommy beginning to sob in the way he did when he was overwhelmed, Benji pressing his face into Lila’s arm, Adam covering his face with both hands and turning away from the room.

“I don’t want Aunt Denise,” Lila said, loudly and clearly through her tears. “I want Rowan.”

The judge looked at the gallery. She looked at Denise. She looked at me.

Two weeks later, temporary guardianship was granted.

I walked out of that courthouse, turned the corner to where no one could see me, and was thoroughly sick in a patch of ornamental bushes.

Then I straightened up, wiped my face, and went to find my family.

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