My husband and I had been saving diligently for a house, counting every dollar and cutting every extra expense. Then, out of nowhere, my mother-in-law offered us $35,000 to help with the down payment—on one condition: she wanted to live with us.
At first, it sounded like an incredibly generous offer. But there was a catch. My mother-in-law is notoriously controlling. She critiques my cooking, constantly “reorganizes” my kitchen without permission, and once even told me I should “dress more modestly” in my own house. I can barely tolerate her weekend visits—sharing a home with her full-time would be impossible.
Still, to show appreciation for her offer, my husband invited her over for dinner. I decided to be gracious. I smiled, made polite conversation, and even cooked her favorite dish. Everything was going smoothly—until she took one bite and suddenly rushed to the bathroom.
What she didn’t realize was that I had quietly added a small amount of coriander—an ingredient she’s mildly allergic to. When she returned, she was furious, accusing me of doing it deliberately and pointing out that I knew about her allergy. My husband was angry too.
I looked at both of them and said calmly, “You’re offering us the money with conditions. Fine. But I have conditions too. This will be our home—my husband’s and mine. That means our house, our rules. And since I’ll be the one cooking, I’ll use whatever ingredients I choose.”
My MIL was beside herself with anger. She left before dessert, slamming the door behind her. Later, my husband accused me of disrespecting her, insisting she only wanted to help us buy a house. I told him that if his mother truly wants to move in, she needs to respect my boundaries.
Now I can’t stop wondering—should I have just accepted her offer without setting any rules? Or did I go too far by standing my ground?