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I Was Expecting Something Special for My 50th Birthday — My Husband’s Gift Left Me Feeling Deeply Humiliated

A Reddit user recently shared their experience with an unexpected birthday gift from their spouse, igniting a conversation about the importance of thoughtfulness in relationships.

For illustrative purposes only (iStockphoto)

She wrote:

“On my husband’s 50th birthday, I surprised him with a trip to Hawaii. Yesterday, I turned 50 myself. Early in the morning, my husband woke me up and softly whispered in my ear, ’I have a surprise for you…downstairs!’ Excited, I ran down — only to freeze in shock when I saw something unimaginable.

Sitting in the middle of the room was… a vacuum cleaner — not even wrapped, mind you! He said he thought I’d like a new one since the current one doesn’t have the ability to turn off the brush roller when using on hard floors. I never asked for a new one. It works fine.

For illustrative purposes only

That was my birthday. Not even a lunch or dinner out. He mentioned a month ago about doing something special and going on a trip. I asked about that, and he said he figured I’d tell him when and where I wanted to go, although he never asked where!

But he did mention several times over the past month that he had a surprise for me. Apparently, the ’surprise’ was nothing but this… vacuum cleaner!

For illustrative purposes only (iStockphoto)

We’ve been married for 17 years! Am I wrong for hoping or expecting that maybe he could have surprised me with something? Anything? Something more than an Amazon next-day delivery vacuum cleaner?!

Maybe I’m just being hypersensitive. Turning 50 has been a hard number for me. My parents and grandparents all passed in that decade…”

For illustrative purposes only (iStockphoto)

Reddit users quickly filled the comments section with their thoughts and humorous replies.

  • You have every right to expect more for your 50th birthday. Your feelings are valid, and it sounds like you were hoping for something that would make you feel special and appreciated. A vacuum, while practical, doesn’t convey that. Your husband’s lack of effort in planning something meaningful does seem inconsiderate, especially after the effort you put into his birthday. © PineappleIll6110 / Reddit
  • Leave him in the living room with the vacuum when you go to Hawaii. Maybe take the vacuum with you to Hawaii and just leave your husband behind. © OnlyOnTuesdays289 / Reddit
  • You definitely need to sit him down and have an honest conversation about this. Point out the Hawaii trip you planned for his birthday, and explain that turning 50 has been challenging for you — you truly thought he was planning something special on his own. Let him know you feel really let down by the total lack of empathy or consideration he put into your present.
    If he dismisses your feelings or gets defensive, you might consider returning the favor next time — perhaps with a household appliance for his birthday, like a washing machine. And since he sees the vacuum as such a special gift, maybe he should have the honor of using it to clean the house from now on.
    DO NOT let this slide — unspoken resentment only grows over time! © Altruistic_Bee_8201 / Reddit

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