My name is Tessa. I’m 44, and I have four children—ages 17, 11, 8, and 7. My father, who’s 72, lives with us. Lately, his health has been declining quickly, and he can no longer take care of himself the way he used to.
He’s firmly against the idea of going into a nursing facility, so instead of hiring professional help, I asked if he could help cover the costs of the care I provide at home. He didn’t take it well. He told me, “I’m your father. You’re supposed to help me without question! You’re my child, it’s your duty!”
That same afternoon, my husband texted me, telling me to check our joint email urgently. When I opened it, I was stunned to see a nursing home agreement—already signed by my father. He had arranged everything on his own without even talking to me first.
Not long after, half of the house was empty. A moving van had come and taken all of his belongings, including some of the furniture he had originally bought for our home when I first moved in. Even my youngest’s favorite stuffed animal—a gift from my father—was gone.
When I called to ask what was going on, he said, “This is what you deserve for being so selfish! I provided for you for years, and now that I need assistance, you’re ready to get rid of me!”
I honestly don’t think I was asking for too much. I’m already raising four kids, and being a full-time caregiver on top of that is overwhelming—especially without any support.
At the very least, I think it’s fair that he contributes. After all, nothing in life is truly free.
