A desperate man took to Reddit to vent about his complicated life situation.
He shared, “I (M, 41) lost my wife, who was seven months pregnant with my son, when I was 35. I’ve kept in touch with her parents over the years, despite how difficult they can be, because I always felt the pain they’ve endured couldn’t be easy.”
But their behavior pushed boundaries. “They didn’t like when I started dating, which I understood. They even claimed parts of the inheritance that were legally mine, and I just let them have it—I wasn’t with my wife for the money. I gave up something like USD 80k. In those first years, I constantly had to fight their attempts to control my every move.
They were always checking on my whereabouts, expecting me to console them whenever they were sad, and wanting me to update them about every plan I had… things I don’t even do with my own parents.”
The man admitted he was sincerely fed up with his ex in-laws crossing every possible line.
Still, life had moved forward for him. “I got married three years ago, and now we’re expecting twins—two boys! My former mother-in-law sends me WhatsApp messages about three times a week. During one of these chats, I told her about the pregnancy.
Her reaction? A very short ‘congrats,’ followed immediately by a reminder that I should never forget their daughter and my unborn son. Then she quickly changed the subject.
Months have passed, and she hasn’t once checked on the pregnancy or how I’m doing. It’s been a frightening experience for me, given what happened before, and now I’m older, 41, with twins on the way. The energy it takes is a lot.”
Now, he’s questioning whether to continue this relationship at all.
“I feel like this is a one-way, energy-draining relationship. They take and take, but never care about me as a person or my well-being. It’s as if I’m just a placeholder for the love they had for their daughter, but they couldn’t care less about my life or what’s happening now. I’m seriously considering ending the relationship. Am I wrong here????”
He later added an edit to clarify: “For those confused: My former MIL still contacts me frequently. She just has no interest in my new wife, kids, or my feelings. That’s why it feels so one-sided. Every time something good happens in my life, she says, ‘but you can’t forget about your first wife and child.’ I understand where that comes from, but if you want a relationship with me, it should include me and my life as a whole—not just the parts you choose at your convenience.”
Redditors flooded the comments section under the man’s post with their emotional opinions.
- One user wrote, “My family lost my oldest sister (29 at the time), and we still keep in touch with her husband. My parents still go to dinner with him at least once a month. When he was ready to start dating again, he talked to my parents and was terrified that the family would be mad at him for moving on, but we all encouraged him to date and find happiness again.
It seems that her parents are still struggling so they want to watch you struggle too and that’s not at all fair to you.” - Another one added, “You need to move on and find joy with your wonderful new family. You have done nothing wrong.
After all the heartache, you deserve to be happy. Remember that you are not their emotional crutch. You even gave them part of the inheritance. Congratulations on your twins. Go live your life in peace.” - One more user pointed out, “I can’t help but think that they blame OP somehow for her death. Doesn’t matter what the actual circumstances are, because grief isn’t always rational.
OP, I wish you much happiness. I’d stop answering all of the texts, or at least make her wait longer for a reply, which should be as generic as possible.” - Some other user wrote, “Also, how dare this woman say ’don’t forget your dead family’ like that is incredibly small-minded and just insulting to be honest. That makes me so mad and sad, thinking about someone saying that to me about a lost loved one. I would go bananas.”
- Another person said, “You’re not guilty. I am a widow, and I had to end my relationship with my in-laws because they were also incredibly negative and invasive.
I promise you that your life will be easier and your new wife and children will be happier if you end this relationship and move on with your life. Trust me, there is no purpose in continuing to communicate with people who can’t find happiness in your happiness.”
Source: brightside.me
