I’m 67 and worked for 45 years. Every Friday, my daughter drops off her kids, saying, “What else do you have to do?” When I asked for just one weekend off, she screamed, “You’ll never see them again!”
So I made sure she kept that promise and booked a vacation. Her reaction was beyond anything I could have imagined—she actually called the police, claiming I had “abandoned” my grandchildren because she couldn’t find anyone else to watch them.
The officer who responded was confused when he realized I was simply on a planned vacation and had no legal obligation to provide childcare. My daughter had painted me as some kind of negligent guardian who had left children unattended, when the reality was that she was a grown woman who couldn’t handle her own parenting responsibilities for one weekend
What stung the most was realizing that she and her husband were splurging on fancy dinners and weekend getaways, fully aware they had free childcare whenever they needed it.
When I came back from my trip, I found dozens of angry voicemails from her, calling me “selfish” and insisting I had “ruined her life” by being unavailable. She labeled me a “terrible grandmother” who clearly didn’t love my grandchildren, all because I chose a vacation over constantly catering to her family’s demands.
The hardest part was realizing that, in her mind, I existed only for her convenience. After raising her with love and sacrifice, working multiple jobs to give her opportunities, and supporting her through college, I had been reduced to nothing more than a free babysitter in her eyes.
I love my grandchildren deeply, but I refuse to be treated like hired help by my own daughter. I need guidance on how to preserve my relationship with my grandkids while firmly setting boundaries with someone who clearly sees me as a resource rather than as a person.