A woman struggling through a difficult moment in her five-year relationship reached out to online communities for guidance. After a tense argument with her fiancé about money, she began to wonder whether she had been wrong for defending her position against the man she loves.
Here’s her full account:
I got engaged to my partner, a 35-year-old man, about a year ago. We’ve been together for five years, and our wedding is planned for May 2025.
Sadly, just a couple of weeks after our engagement, my nanna passed away. She and my grandfather had worked tirelessly throughout their lives, achieving both success and financial stability. They lived frugally when they were young, which allowed them to build significant wealth later on. My grandfather, in particular, has always been brilliant at managing money and investments.
In her will, my grandmother left a very generous sum to be divided among me, my brother, and my three cousins. Even after splitting it five ways, each of us received a substantial amount. I’d rather not disclose the exact figure.
When I shared the news with my fiancé, he seemed extremely excited—more than I had expected. I brushed it off at first, but the next day, I overheard him chatting with his friends during a gaming session, saying, “I can pay my credit card off with that money, mate! We can finally get that boys’ holiday we’ve been planning!”
I walked into the room and asked, “What money?” He looked at me oddly and said, “From your nan, babe.”
That’s when I lost it. I told him firmly, “You won’t be using any of that money without my consent, and there’s definitely no boys’ holiday happening. It’s not your money to claim; it was specifically left to me by my grandmother. It’s not up for debate.
The argument escalated fast—voices rose, and harsh words flew between us. I walked out, angry and overwhelmed. Later, he paused his gaming and came into the kitchen to confront me, accusing me of humiliating him in front of his friends. He also suggested that once we were married, my finances would automatically become shared.
But I wasn’t the one who mentioned a vacation, and the idea that I’d be any kind of financial burden is absurd. I have a steady job, and we aren’t even planning to have children. Unable to deal with the tension any longer, I left the house without saying anything else and went to stay with a friend—where I’m writing this now.
I should add that all of this happened recently. Until not long ago, I wasn’t even certain I’d get the inheritance because of various family and legal complications.
So… am I actually in the wrong here?
